To eat or not to eat?

This is a question I find myself asking often, especially when it comes to sweets. It's that inner turmoil I deal with when I see that box of doughnuts someone's brought into the office, or that plate of brownies sitting on the table at my friend's jazz party. (And by "jazz party" I mean Utah Jazz, not musical jazz. I don't think I've ever been to that kind of jazz party, although I would absolutely love to! I've loved jazz ever since that gen ed college class... history of jazz! Stop laughing, it was actually much harder than I thought it was going to be. The homework was brutal. Ok, maybe I'm over-stating things a bit, but I didn't spend my whole college career filling my time with fluff classes. I mean, there was the volleyball AND basketball classes I took EVERY semester my last 2 years but that was just to keep me well-rounded.

It was, it really was!

Ok, we've wandered WAY off topic here. I better end this side statement with my closing parenthesis.

Wait for it...)

Anyways, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... if you know me at all, you know I don't often turn down food, especially sweets.

But today I found myself asking: to eat, or not to eat?!

As I stepped out on my front porch to grab my mail I noticed something a bit unusual...


Upon closer inspection I found myself both very excited, and very confused.

And my mind went through many scenarios as I inspected closer:

1. Did someone leave this here?

2. If 1 is true, did they leave it here on purpose?

3. If 1 and 2 are true, did they leave it here for my enjoyment or are they trying to poison me.

4. If 1 and 2 are true, do they know me well enough to know that leaving a candy egg on my doorstep would drive me absolutely bonkers questioning their intentions?

5. OH MY GOSH, IS SOMEBODY WATCHING ME RIGHT NOW?? While I stand here staring at this egg on my doormat?

6. I'm sure it's safe to touch it right?

7. Oh my gosh, I'm WAY too much of a conspiracy theorist. For heaven's sake, it's just a piece of candy.

8. Probably one of my cute neighbors left it here, right?

9. I wonder if they accidentally dropped it...

10. Or maybe they left it here as a gift for me.

11. Oh, how sweet!

12. But they are kids... I wonder how sanitary it is.

13. It is sealed well, right?

14. It is kind of crushed, what if there's a hole in it somewhere and the kid who left it for me was playing with worms right before they came to give it to me?

15. Maybe I'll just leave it on the counter for now and make this decision tomorrow.

16. Why is this little piece of candy stressing me out?...

Oh dear, am I becoming a paranoid schizophrenic? Please help, I think I've way over-analyzed this little piece of candy. What do you think?

Wait, I don't want to know the answer to that!

PS. All those tiny purple things surrounding my door mat?... I've got a post about where they came from coming up. Just you wait!