Don't Stand... Don't Stand So... Don't Stand So Close to Me!

So, it's pretty obvious that I have issues. And there's not nearly enough time in the day (or free memory offered by blogspot) to post about them all. But the issue that's bugging me once again is parking.

I went off on an insane parking analysis HERE a few months ago, where my sister commented "YOU ARE CRAZY... I can't believe we come from the same genes!" Little does she know I still strongly believe she was adopted, or switched at birth, or at the very least dropped on her head 5 too many times (which may or may not have been my doing), but I love her regardless of how crazy she is (or crazy she thinks I am).

Anyways, now there is a slightly related although altogether different parking issue that has been bothering me as of late and it has to do with oversize trucks. To illustrate my point, I'm going to steal a picture from my previous post so just ignore those little blue arrows and focus on that poorly-parked truck.


Now, sometimes, a truck parked like this doesn't bother me in the least... if it's at the back of the parking lot, in the empty area. But at my work, wherein this frustration stems, you have to walk across the rows to get to the building rather than down the rows. Does that make sense. Let me show you.

This is how you park at my work. Well, not everyone parks like this. I'd say I get to work later than the average employee in my office. Not that I'm "late" by any means, the company is just "flexible" on when employees have to arrive.

Thank heavens! So, here's how I park:



As opposed to your standard strip mall store where you park (and walk) like this:

And that, once again, is in contrast to how you park/walk when you come out of said store:

**Please note that in light of the economy being so poor as of late, the "car" budget has been cut from this blog, thus requiring each car to appear as a generic square as opposed to the other post where I spent way too many minutes trying to get the tires and steering wheels on said cars in the exact right spot. Seriously, perfectionists and the "auto align" feature do not get along well, if ya know what I mean. Now, moving on...

Well, recently (and when I say recently, I mean the past few months, as I've now worked at this company for 8 years and haven't noticed this problem in the past. Perhaps I am just getting grumpier in my "old age." Or perhaps everyone I work with just went out and bought an oversize truck. And I suppose if I really mean "in the past few months" I should just say "in the past few months" instead of "recently"... but I digress) there have been a number of oversized trucks that seem to enjoy parking in the first row closest to the door. Or, as I put it, right in my path.

And I, being a bag-lady, often have quite a bit of baggage that I carry in to the office. For example, I always have my purse (which, as I've shown before, can have quite a bit of crap very important stuff in it), I almost always have my lunch bag (it's a really cute colorful polka dot cooler case that looks kinda like a purse... the kind of bag that's SO cute boys would be REALLY embarrassed to carry it around, even if it does function as the perfect picnic cooler. And yes, I may have used the line "perfect picnic cooler" in the justification of this purchase. And yes, I only had to justify the purchase to myself, but that's pretty much normal for me) and I sometimes have my gym bag (on days that I play volleyball right after work). And so, when I end up being 4 feet wide with all my bags hanging off me (and even when I'm only a dainty 1 foot wide without my bags) and I can't fit between the trucks even if I turn sideways without causing some major scratchage (or stratch-age?) (which is definitely an option that has, ever-so-fleetingly, crossed my mind) I get really mad and just want to yell, "WHY DON'T YOU GO PARK AT THE BACK OF THE LOT WHERE YOU CAN LAZY AROUND AND TAKE UP ALL THE ROOM YOU WANT!?!?!?"

And then I think, "Does this make me size-ist?" I mean, how horrible would I feel if I were sitting in a row at the movie theater and someone came up and said, "I can't get by, your legs are a little too long for that seat, eh?" (Yes, they may be from Canada.) "Why don't you go sit in the back where you can take up all the room you want and even drape your legs over the row in front of you?"

Now, granted, this would actually be my ideal option... to drape my legs over the seats in front of me at a movie theater... but to have someone tell me I can't sit in the very center of the center row in the theater... I mean, what's the point in even going?!?!

But in all seriousness (yeah, right) I've been trying to think nice thoughts and find alternate (wide) routes to the front doors of my office. I haven't scratched up any car doors with all the metal buckles hanging off my bags. (And seriously, what is it with all that stuff hanging off?) And I'm genuinly trying to be nice about the whole situation. BUT, the other day I came out of the office and found this:

(Insert a suspenseful "Dun, Dun, Duh..." here.)

And I couldn't take it anymore. So I acted. I acted, I tell you! Well, I took this picture. And I felt like my bubble was being invaded. And I looked over my bumper with a magnifying glass to verify that no "love taps" had been made. And then I wrote this post. And now I feel better, because I'm sure some of you must understand my frustration, right? Ok, well, one of you. Anyone? Hello? Why am I hearing crickets?!