A Very Happy... Meal

Aaah, Christmas is so close I can almost taste it! In fact, I have been tasting it... cookies, candies, hot cocoa... and it tastes wonderful!!

But that's not the food I want to talk about today. Every once in a while I like to go to Wendy's and get a kids meal. Mostly, I really love that you can get mandarin oranges instead of fries, and while I like the hamburgers, kinda, I also like the idea of getting some random little prize in my bag. (And, what if I do like to do the wordsearches on the bag?!)

Anyways, I went a few months ago, right before Halloween, and was sorely disappointed when I got this in my not-so-happy meal:

I wasn't sure what it was at first. Do you know, just by looking at it? It's about 2"-3" high. I read in the little paper that came with it that it's supposed to be a spider. Lame-o!

For quite some time I didn't return to Wendy's. It could be because I've been watching my figure (we're doing The Biggest Loser at work) or it could've been some deep-rooted fear of getting another stuffed creature that would scare me let alone some poor, innocent 5 year old.

But I overcame those fears, that or my mandarin orange cravings got the best of me, and returned to Wendy's last week. And can I just tell you, it was one of the best ideas I had all day!

This is what came in my very-happy meal this time:

And here's what is inside:

From top-left, going clockwise, there's:

• 4 coupons for things such as hugs, chores and breakfast in bed
• 2 sheets of stickers (cute, SO cute)
• 4 gift tags with Snoopy on them (who doesn't love Snoopy?)
• 1 stencil

I'm almost tempted to go back and get more happy meals. In fact, I would, but I'm still watching my figure (as there is plenty of it to watch). And, unlike me, some of you have kids so you have a great excuse to buy a plethera of happy meals.

But, I am still a kid, so that's my excuse!

Now if I can just figure out how I can redeem that coupon for breakfast in bed...

PS. Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

Thank heavens for the Thesaurus!

As the holidays near there's one tradition that I DO NOT look forward to every year and that's the dreaded EP&DP.

For those of you who don't know what an EP&DP is, consider yourself lucky. Well, maybe you're lucky... it could mean you're unemployed, or that you're just self-employed, but for a good portion of the corporate world it's known as the Employee Performance & Development Process... and it stinks!

I just finished mine, so let the holidays begin, but really, I don't get the whole thing. I have to go through 20+ pages explaining what I did during this last year and how fabulous I'm going to be during the next year, but I have to do it all talking about myself in the third person... as if my manager had written it.

So, for example, there'll be a list of goals that I had last year and I go through and write comments by each one like:

"Brooke continuously strives to..."
"Brooke has endeavored to work..."
"Brooke has done exceptionally well in... blah, blah, blah"

At the end of the process, though, it's a stunning tribute to my year of dedication and hard work! (Right?! I do work hard... I do! I do! I do!)

I also have to rank all my past efforts 1-4:
1 - Needs Improvement (I NEVER have any of these!)
2 - Meets Performance Requirements (Most of my goals fall under this category because that means I'm doing my job)
3 - Exceeds Performance (I try to slip in 2 or 3 of these every year so that it looks like I'm putting some effort into my work)
4 - Outstanding (I put 2 of these this year. I may be pushing my luck and my boss might slip them back to 3's or 2's but he loves me and maybe he'll let it slide, cuz I'm fabulous!)

My first year doing an EP&DP I had mostly 3's, and then some 2's and some 4's. My boss kindly explained to me that I really wasn't that great and should rank myself more near the average employee with more 2's. I told him that I wasn't average, I was SPECIAL, at least that's what my mom's always told me. He rolled his eyes and said, "Go with more 2's". Ok, just kidding that didn't really happen, well, not the me telling him I'm "special" part, even though I am, in so many weird ways, and I'm ok with it, so deal with it!

And I must give a special thanks to the online Thesaurus that helped me come up with synonyms for the following words that I used a plethera of times in my EP&DP:

• strive
• endeavor
• work
• effective
• address
• devote
• sustain
• continuous
• ongoing
• effective

I'd use bigger words but then my boss would definitely know I used the thesaurus. In fact, I think "endeavor" might push him over the edge. I've only ever used that word to describe space shuttles before!

Life in the Fast Lane

I'd like to clear something up real quick before we delve too much into the dark recesses of my mind...

On snow days, the fast lane is reserved for 4-wheel drive vehicles ONLY!!!

But if you're in a 2-wheel drive vehicle and feel the need for speed, DO NOT pull in front of a faster 4-wheel drive vehicle and put on your brakes. Because we may GO well in the snow, but we do not STOP well.

(The above thoughts randomly popped into my head this morning as I was driving to work!)

And yes, I'm am one of those 4-wheel drive vehicle owners. And I may seem masochistic (is that the right word) for saying this, but I LOVE driving in bad weather. Probably mostly because I can, when some others can't. But I just think it's fun!

This is my car:


Except my car's a little lighter blue color.

This is what my car looks like today:


It must be so cold under all that snow. (Your computer is working fine, yes, that's just a plain white picture!) I feel bad, kinda, but not bad enough to get off my lazy bum and go scrape it off!

Happy snow day! Drive safe!

Extreme Makeover... Gingerbread House Edition

I had the opportunity last weekend to make a gingerbread house with these 4 hilariously entertaining folks:

That's Scott, Audrey, Lon, & Teresa. We all pitched in together to build one fabulously extravagant house. And this is what we came up with:

Isn't it cute? I have to point out a few of it's "extra" features.

I had to point out both Christmas trees because that was my contribution to the effort. There were so many hands trying to stick icing and candy on the house at one time that I came up with other things to occupy my mind. You know me, that's just the way I roll.

Here's the back of the mansion:

That's right, what gingerbread house is complete without an ATV? I'm rather proud of it, it was my one other contribution.

Isn't it cute manly?

It was such a fun evening. Audrey brought us fabulous food and showed us the secret to glueing together the gingerbread graham crackers for the house. (Who really has time to make gingerbread, huh?)

Thanks, builders, for a wonderful evening. And I hope the rest of you are having a wonderful holiday season!!

Happy News!

So, my baby sister, who's the most lovable dork I know (though I'm sure there's plenty of argument that I'm the biggest dork in the family) got engaged this weekend!

Her fiance's name is Tevita though he goes by Vita. They haven't set a date or anything as far as I know, they're just happily engaged. I'll have to get Robin to tell the whole engagement story but I am happy to report that they were an hour late for their dinner that evening because they were bringing me soup and buying me cough drops. (Poor Vita was probably dying with the ring burning a hole in his pocket!) I'm glad I could feel somewhat included in their special day! (Sorry, though, guys... kinda! I love you both!)

Here's the rock (but minus the wedding band):

Sick as a dog

Forgive me for not blogging lately. I have Thanksgiving photos to post and many other random ideas to share but I can't get all my thoughts straight in my head... well, as straight as possible, anyways. I hate being sick!

I do want to put a plug in for the 2008 Festival of Trees, though. It's this weekend at the South Town Expo Center so grab a few friends and head down!

You can find out more info here: http://www.festivaloftreesutah.com/

Gotta go. Please pass the kleenex!

Thanks & Giving!

I hope you're having (or had) a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and that you are (or were) surrounded by family, friends, and good food. If it wasn't all you were hoping it would be give me a call, there's a good chance I have leftovers, or will after I go to the two more Thanksgiving dinners I'll be attending this weekend. (I know, it's rough, but somebody's gotta do it!)

But in all seriousness, well..., mostly all seriousness, here's a list of things I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

- Family (they're the best)
- Friends (they're practically family)
- Faith (in all things)
- Hope (for world peace! jk! Ok, maybe not!)
- Volleyball (of course)
- Love (it's everywhere)
- Scripture (and sacrifice)
- Home (it's a nice place to be)
- Pants w/ a 37" inseam (those of you who've ever had to hem pants to make them fit wouldn't understand)
- Good health
- Chocolate (can I get an AMEN?!)
- Food
- the Gospel
- Good books
- Cameras (cuz my memory ain't what it use to be)
- Freedom (from oppression)
- Warm coats
- Prophets, Apostles, and revelation
- Traditions
- Fresh Air (breath in, breath out)
- Agency
- Dreams (both conscious and unconscious)
- Airplanes (cuz the ox cart is SO 19th century)
- DVR (it makes me happy)
- Missionaries
- Strength
- Soldiers
- Good days (hopefully they're not few and far between)
- Bravery
- Seasons (I like all 4!)
- Work (most of the time, anyways)
- People who read my blog

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and don't let that turkey get the best of ya!

To my fellow geeks...

There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary and
Those who don't!

Ha, ha, I kill myself!

Not all dumbs are blonde, are they?

I had to go to the bank again this week to turn my $20 bill into 1 $10, 1 $5, and 5 $1's. (Yes, I've owed a lot of people money lately!) So, as a follow-up to Wednesday's controversial post, I skipped the speedier drive-thru lane and opted to walk into the lobby. After waiting in line for ~12 minutes I made it up to the teller. I repeated my actions of last week as I slapped the $20 bill down on her desk and said, "I just need to cash this." These were her exact words, "Oh, I'm so sorry you had to wait so long just for that, how would you like that cashed?"

There you have it... I'm not an idiot after all. Well, not in that way, at least. Notice she even used the word "cashed" in referring to getting change for my $20. The wait was well worth it just for the personal redemption, and the smile on my face told her it was no problem

Of course, the above test procedures could be totally flawed. I herein tried to prove that I was or was not at fault by using confusing language. Perhaps the study should really search more into the teller's ability to understand as teller #1 from last week was a blonde and teller #2 was a brunette. Now, I don't know if both of them were sporting their natural hair color or not so my assumptions could be totally off but... I'm just sayin'!

11.21.2008

Congratulations, Wendy & Isaac!

Wendy and I met and became friends in middle school. Isaac and I were in the same Sunday School class growing up, though we were in different grades in school.

A funny memory I have of Wendy is when she was coming to pick me up for school one day (she had a car, I was thankful to her for not making me take the bus) and she pulled in front of my parents' house followed by a policeman.

Wendy has a license plate frame that says, "I feel the need... the need for speed."

Enough said.

Thank you for the wonderful influence you continue to have on my life and who I am today is because of you (the good things, not the bad ones, we'll give credit for those to someone else)!

I love you!

Me and all my randomness

Yes, "randomness" is a word... Because I said so! (I'm practicing my mommy phrases, and no, that's not a hint that I'm pregnant. One step at a time here, people!)

Anyways, I paid $34.00 to fill up my car with gas today! That's so much better than the $82.98 I paid on 8/24/08. And yes, it was almost empty both times. I can't believe it. I'm so happy I could cry!

On a completely unrelated subject...
I walked into the bank today with a $20 bill (shocking, I know, but I have those sometimes). I slapped the bill (nicely) down on the tellers desk and when she asked how she could help me I said, "I just need to cash this!" Now, you get that, right? Maybe I should've phrased it differently. I could've said, "I need to change this," but I thought that would be stupid. I didn't want her to change it into something like an oragami swan, I wanted to cash it. Anyways, after I said "I just need to cash this," she looked at the $20, then looked at me and said, "That is cash!"
No, really? I wish I would've said something like, "It is?" but I just couldn't because of the dead-serious look she had on her face. After a 3 second pause where I thought I'd given her enough time to comprehend what I was talking about (it obviously wasn't enough time), I explained that I'd like to "change it for smaller bills." She then said, "Oh, ok, I was so confused..."
Ya think?
Seriously, was I the first person to walk into a bank with a "large" bill and ask to cash it?
I grew up working in my dad's shop for years and we always had to run down to the bank to get change. I swear, they always understood what I meant!

Single: It's not a disease!

I just have a link to share today. I always have TAMN's blog linked from mine (it's over on the right, there-->) but since Google Reader came out I'm sure many of you don't even go directly to my site anymore. Anyways, this just totally made my morning!
Happy Tuesday to you all. I hope you have a great day!

http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/2008/11/fall-for-anything.html

Do the Math

Total Population of California: 38 million adults and children

Total Number of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in California: 800,000 adults and children

Total voting population of California: 11.5 million

Total estimated number of adult church members in California: 300,000

If ALL the eligible adult church members voted they would've accounted for less than 3% of the total number of votes (or voters) in California.

I'm just saying... it seems like there are a LOT of other people out there who are in agreement on the subject. Bottom line, love and respect thy neighbor, even if they have some beliefs that you don't agree with. (And that goes both ways!)

All I Want for Christmas... well, maybe not ALL

I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!!

http://9to5mac.com/

And, ok, it'd be a late Christmas present, but better late than never!

(And we won't even mention the fact that I'd be buying it for myself rather than receiving it as a present but let's not be all "Bah Humbug," ok?!)

A Simple "Thank You" Is Not Enough

As I've said here before, I'm extremely proud, and blessed, to be an American. In addition to that, I'm exceedingly grateful for those who have fought, and are fighting, to preserve the freedoms that I enjoy. I'm also grateful for the courage that brave men and women around the world show so that others may enjoy their own freedoms.



For those of you who missed it, there was an amazing song/video on Music and the Spoken Word last Sunday. Here's a portion of the text, with which I agree 100%.

On [this] day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly, on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that their efforts shall not have been in vain.

For those who love freedom and country, for those who respect sacrifice and service in behalf of the common good, each day is a day to remember those who have donned the uniform and served their country.

A country is only as strong as the men and women brave enough, selfless enough, and honorable enough to serve their nation. All who have served gave some part of their life, and some made the ultimate sacrifice. Today each one of us is a beneficiary of their service. We remember and honor them, this day and always.

I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to support the United States Air Force through my career. Whether in uniform or not, I hope that we can all find the strength to stand up for the freedoms of people worldwide and do all within our power to preserve all our rights.

I am proud to be an American.
In God is my trust.
And I humbly pray there will always be men and women much more courageous than myself that will don a uniform and fight to preserve my right to say that!

Happy Veteran's Day!

Laundry

I had a plethera of laundry to do this weekend! Do you love using the word plethera as much as I do? Mostly I like the combination of the first 2 letters. P and L aren't found together very often in the english language. Say it with me, "P-L, P-L, Plethera"! Aaah, that's fun!

Anyways, back to the laundry. (Did I mention I had a lot of it, as in a plethera?) I've realized over the past week and half that my amount of laundry doubles as soon as it starts getting cold. I love wearing layers and sweaters but I hate that those sweaters are such a pain to dry.

Ok, sorry to keep rambling, I'm trying to focus, but it is a Monday, after all!

Anyways... I was hanging up one of my many sweaters so it could "line dry" and although I've worn this sweater many times, it was the first time I'd noticed what the tag said...


Did you catch that? I mean, seriously...


...are they trying to trick us?

"Let's call it the United States Company, then they'll buy it and won't even notice that it was made in China. Those Americans... not that bright.... If we can slide in a few under-age olympians we can surely trick them with these sweaters!" -Chinese sweater-marketing executive

Personally I usually don't look to see where clothes were made before I buy them. Rather, I'm more wary of the PRICE tag. And I got this one at Ross so it was such a good buy I don't care WHERE it was made!

I just hope it doesn't have lead in it!

Give me caffeine or give me a pillow!

That's what I'm thinking today as I sit at my desk.

I like the fact that we switch to daylight savings time as it's hard for me to get up in the morning without the sunlight streaming through my window. I, however, gained 2 hours this week and lost one. I spent a couple days in Cali for work and boy is my sleep schedule messed up! Here's the run-down... I gained an hour Saturday night, I gained another hour Tuesday, then I lost an hour on Thursday. On top of that I didn't go to bed Tuesday night until 2:30am on Wednesday. That was the real clincher.

So, what was I doing that was so important/fun on Tuesday night? I was watching an ICBM test launch at Vandenberg AFB. Here's the video... (If you turn up the sound you can hear "launcher closure door open...")

I know, you can't really see the missile itself. While it would be nice to get a closer look, trust me, you don't want to be too close when these things launch. However, if I had been closer I could've gotten a shot like this:

But I didn't get a shot like that, I stole it from someone else, just so ya know! I'll just lay it out there, confessin' my sins and all!

So anyways, caffeine or pillow? Personally, I'd prefer the pillow, and my boss is out of town today, although his boss ain't, and I don't think it'd look good if someone walked by and I was face-down, drooling at my desk. But that does sound really nice!

A hauntingly spectacular Halloween!

Here are some thoughts/pics of the halloween party at my place Friday night. My dad had made some dang fabulous soup and we dipped apples in caramel to our little hearts content. Thanks to all who came and I apologize that I didn't get pictures of everyone.

(If anyone has any pictures to add please send them my way!)

Here's the rundown of made-up, insignificant, yet lovingly-given awards:

Most likely to swear on the job

(Dam inspector and his cowgirl wife)

Most likely to show PDA

(Newly engaged, no costume)

Most likely to be stranded on an island & Most likely to be found in a toybox

(Gilligan & Polly Pocket)

Most likely to... hang out in the kitchen (?!? had to stretch on this one)

(newly married, no costume)

Most Polyester & Most-ly dead
(Sally O’Malley & Mummy)

Most likely to be in a movie
(Eowyn & Legolas)

Most likely to be called “Hot-Pants” (you'll have to ask them why!)

(newly engaged, no costume)

Most religious

(Moses & ... maybe one of his followers?!)

Most likely to be in a cartoon

(Mickey & Minney)

And now, the one you've ALL been waiting for:
(And if you want an impartial judge, then find somebody else next time!)

Most likely to spend a night in jail & ...ditto

(the Hamburglar and… freaky Goth!!)

Some of the others that I missed snapping pictures of included Sarah Palin (such an honor to meet her), a couple pirates (they were real scaliwags), and many others.

Many thanks to all who came, I had a great time!

And it's never too early to start planning next year's costume!
(Especially those of you who will be engaged at next year's halloween party. The engaged couples made a poor showing of costumes this year... but I love you anyways!)

My Top 10 list of Halloween Must-Do's

10 - Drink a cup of apple cider

9 - Bite a doughnut off a string while your hands are tied behind your back

8 - You may be on a sugar high from all the candy you eat so make sure you eat some good, solid food as well (that's just good advice right there)!

7 - Eat candy

6 - Give out candy to trick-or-treaters (or go trick-or-treating)

5 - Eat a caramel apple (although caramel popcorn is an acceptable substitute)

4 - Get scared!

3 - Dress up... in a costume... that doesn't look like what you normally wear

2 - Carve a Pumpkin

1 - Watch a scary movie or "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown"

Book Review: Meet Your Match

The following is an excerpt from the book "Meet Your Match" by Stephanie Fowers

Singles Ward Dictionary
(Key Terms)

(Not necessarily in alphabetical order or in order of importance, or, in fact, in any order at all. These terms come from a singles ward; therefore all definitions are irrational, intertwined, and interrelated…kind of like plots in a bad soap opera.)

Squirrelly Girl (′härt-brā-kər) female 1: able to make a man’s heart putty in her hands 2: runs from commitment by stringing boys along 3: puts guys on the back burner while waiting for the perfect one (The Challenge) to come along 4: gives girls a bad name

Back-burner Boy (′i-dē-ət) male 1: nice guy (finishes last) 2: unbeknownst to him, is the poor victim of Squirrelly Girl 3: fed lines to be kept at bay 4: placed coyly on the back burner (on low heat) as a type of insurance policy in case nothing better comes along 5: kept interested enough to not give up hope, but not given enough interest to get ideas; destined to become Bitter Boy

Best Gal Pal (ek-′splöit-ed) female 1: willing to do anything for anybody; always listening; always there; always supporting 2: not a threat (seemingly)

The Challenge (′plā-ər) male 1: the guy Squirrelly Girl cannot resist 2: the one and only 3: unattainable (hardly returns calls) 4: menace to society 5: (slang) jerk

Bitter Boy (′lü-zər) male 1: has broken heart caused by his antisocial behavior or being left out on the burner too long 2: jumped out of the game and hopped out of the frying pan and into the fire 3: hard and cold like burnt toast, charred to a crisp 4: frosty, jaded, biting, numb – how else can I say it? – cold as ice

Burnt Girl (′nät ′jəs-tə-fīd) female 1: discouraged 2: just out of a relationship (could be years out); not ready for a new one 3: played (usually by The Challenge) 4: can’t move on with her life 5: on the run

Barnacle (′stäk-ər) male 1: has amazing ability to glom onto females 2: pays so much attention to one particular girl that other guys think she’s taken and leave her alone, causing girl to get desperate and issue a restraining order 3: in times of famine or miracle, aforementioned girl might go for said Barnacle

Claim Staker (′swēt ′spir-ət) female 1: has nasty habit of dibbing guys whether or not claimed guy is interested back 2: makes other girls back off – if they have a conscience

Safe Guy (′best ′frend) male 1: can also be harmless guy, player guy, bitter guy, taken guy, former guy flame, and best guy friend 2: you can depend on his noncommittal attitudes to keep you safe 3: won’t make a move 4: might turn on you

All of them hopelessly flawed, so how will they meet their match – especially if they just hang out? Oh, which brings us to:

Hanging Out (fər-′bi-den) verb 1: eternal friends 2: has replaced dating 3: will go nowhere 4: perfect for those with commitment problems (though not even this will save them)

Haunting thoughts…

3 days to Halloween! Who’s excited?! I'm running a little behind in the decorating arena so that’s what’s on the agenda for tonight (not that I have an agenda for my free time… well, maybe)!

So, I had a dream last night. I was staying at a big, fancy hotel for some reason and in the lobby of that hotel was a huge shopping mall/food court. (Is that what heaven’s like? Maid service and an elevator to the store of your choice?) Everyone I’ve ever met in my whole life was in this dream. We were partying it up at the shopping mall/food court and I just kept wandering around chatting with people. Well, I remember eating a meal and then a while later my mom asked me if I wanted to get some nachos with her and I told her that I shouldn’t cuz I was trying to eat healthier and I didn’t really “need” them cuz I wasn’t hungry, even though I love nachos!

I’M DIETING IN MY DREAMS NOW!!!

How twisted is that?

I’m probably doing better in my dreams than I am in real life but I figure if I can subconsciously diet then maybe I can do it when I’m fully conscious also!

Now on a totally different subject… I was reading a document for work today and came across this paragraph in the first few pages:

"The figures in this standard are intended only as illustrations to aid the user in understanding the practices described in the text. Unless stipulated otherwise in the referring text, figures shall not be construed as requirements or as preferred practices. In some cases, figures show a level of detail as needed for emphasis; in other cases figures were deliberately left incomplete to illustrate only a concept or facet thereof. The presence or absence of figures has no bearing on the applicability of the stated requirement or practice."

So, what I get from that is:
1 – The figures are meant to help you understand the text
2 – The figures don’t actually illustrate what is required… although they may… or they may not
3 – The figures will show the level of detail needed… or they may not
4 – We may or may not have put relevant figures in this document
5 – The authors of this document may be getting paid by the word rather than the informational content of this document

And yes, this is a government document. …Typical!

Now I’m going to take a few deep breaths and go back to deciphering whether the rest of the document has any value whatsoever to what I may… or may not… be trying to accomplish. Anyone got a Urim and Thummim I can borrow?

PS. This post didn't really have anything to do with "haunting thoughts," I've just got halloween on the brain!

Book Review: Rules of Engagement

I think many people underestimate the value of the library. I’m a library junkie! I love reading books and I hate spending money so… problem solved!

On a recent trip to the library I headed to the fiction section and wandered aimlessly for hours… well… ok… minutes. I use a very scientific method in choosing which books to pull and read more about. That is, I look for the ones with pretty covers! Every once in a while, though, it’s the title that may draw my attention. And although you may roll your eyes, you must give me a break. I’m a 29-year-old (or 25 & 4, as I like to say) single girl thriving in Mormon Utah. A book titled “Rules of Engagement” quickly draws my attention. So, I pulled it off the shelf and started reading, and lo and behold, it was written by an LDS girl chronicling her experiences as a BYU coed. I knew I was meant to find this book.


Anyways, the book is basically a story similar to “The Singles Ward” but the author, Stephanie Fowers, is a fantastic writer. She put so many things into words that I’ve felt and known over the years. I enjoyed many good laughs. And I must, MUST share some of her words with you.

**Gentlemen, you might want to stop reading now or you’ll be rolling your eyes so much they might get stuck in the back of your head**

“Basically, this was a girl’s lot in my world: she had to plan like she was going to be single for the rest of her life, but she had to be ready for a major change if marriage happened to come along. Now lump that with my own personal flaws, and you had me. So, where was I because of it? I was firmly on the shelf; not just by Mormon standards, but by the world’s too. I was twenty-five with nothing to show for it, and oh, I had so many plans in the meantime. I wanted to be a rock star, a surgeon, an actress, a cop, a wife, a mother…oops, no, that’s a no-no. One must never admit they’re a female with maternal instincts, because that makes one less desirable and more vulnerable to attack.” (Pg. 9)

“You see, no matter how laid back they look, Mormon guys are different from any guys I’ve ever met. They’re scared of everything because everything means commitment. If a girl happens to show interest, it means she wants to marry him and it freaks him out. He won’t ask a girl on a date unless he’s ready to marry her, which freaks him out again. So then, when we get tired of waiting to be asked on dates, we ask the guy out instead, and guess who freaks out? Yep, every guy here would deny it, but it’s true. Mormon guys are overly sensitive. We girls have tried to fight this fear, but it just won’t die, and so we’re forced to play mind games by acting completely harmless with our interests hidden away until even we forget about them.” (Pg. 19)

Oh, there are so many more great quotes I could share but I wouldn’t want y’all to think I’m a guy-basher, cuz I’m not, contrary to how this post may come across. Basically, I think it takes a miracle for any relationship to work. Some relationships may require larger miracles than other, but I think you get the idea… as I’ve said before, I’m gonna need a miracle.

To sum up:

Fairy-tale endings have ruined me for real-life romance!

But I keep dreaming anyways!

Halloween Horror Story: A Boy Named Trouble

Be ye warned… this tale may cause blood-curdling screams and wintry-month nightmares.

Once upon a time I was kid-sitting 2 of my cousins, Madison & Tate, while their parents went on a fabulous warm-climate cruise around the Hawaiian islands. In Utah, however, it was snow season, and you know what that means… fields of snow tempting me to release my inner Calvin & Hobbes. I’d been watching these 2 little brats angels for about a week and their parents were due back in a few days. It was a Saturday morning and my original plan was to go help my roommate at the time make a video to submit to be on the Apprentice. We’d had some kind of problem with the video camera, however, and I’d had to swap those plans for a day-o-scrapbooking at the little brats’ angels’ house. Let’s just put it out there right now that God does work in mysterious ways. I’d spent 20 or so minutes sitting in the middle of their living room floor sorting through photos and arranging them in nice piles around myself. Tate, the 12-year-old angel brat, who was really freakishly tall and muscular for his age (*I love you, Tate*), had gone outside to remove the snow from his driveway, as he was supposed to do. I was imagining spending a wonderful day inside, sipping hot chocolate and looking out the frosty windows at all the poor people who didn’t have slaves 12-year-olds to remove the snow from their houses. It was turning out to be a great day… until… I suddenly heard a very quick, but very loud scream that I just knew sounded like a 12-year-old boy who was NOT just being funny. But then the scream ended. And I took 3 really big and fast breaths and prayed and prayed that the screaming wouldn’t start again. I hoped it was just one of those screams that meant “something scared me but nothing’s really wrong” instead of “Oh my gosh, I just had my fingers chopped off in the snow blower” type of screams. Unfortunately for me (oh, and for him, too) it was the latter. As the screaming started up again I hopped up, ran to the bedroom, grabbed my purse and threw on my shoes, ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and ran out the door as he was trying to run into the house, still screaming, holding his hand and thrusting it into my face to show me the blood oozing out of it. Yes, it was gross, but not nearly as bad as I would’ve thought it could be. I stopped him on the steps and persisted he not take one step into the house because I didn’t want to have to clean blood out of the carpet. (I know how his mom is about cleaning.) I tried to calm him down by telling him that he only chopped up a tiny bit of the end of his fingers, but for some reason that didn’t register to him as reasons for calming down. At this point their neighbor came running over, having heard the screaming (who hadn’t, really… tough guys can sure scream like a girl when the time calls for it) and told me to call 911. I convinced him that it wasn’t all that bad (I know those ambulance rides can be extremely expensive) and that it would be just as effective if I drove him to the emergency room myself (it was only a couple blocks away). The neighbor jumped in the back seat of my car with Tate while I drove to the hospital. Here’s some of the conversations that took place on the way to the hospital:

Conversation Number 1:
Tate: My dad’s gonna KILL me. (sob, sob)
Neighbor: You’re gonna be ok.
Tate: He told me never to stick my hand in the snow blower. (sob, sob) He’s gonna hate me:
Neighbor: He won’t hate you, he loves you, and he’ll be very glad you’re safe.
Tate: I knew I shouldn’t have done that.
Me: (crickets chirping) (I mean, seriously, what are you supposed to say except, “Yeah, duh!” but that didn’t seem appropriate at the time.)

Conversation Number 2:
Tate: I’m never gonna be able to play soccer again
Me: Tate, your feet and legs are fine, you’ll still be able to play soccer.
Tate: But I’m the goalie, I need to be able to catch the ball.
Me: Tate, your going to be able to catch a ball, you just barely got the very tips of your fingers chewed up a little bit…
Tate: (starts sobbing even more) My dad’s gonna be SO mad at me.

We pulled up to the emergency room doors and went in. Tate was still screaming so of course everyone in the waiting area turned to look at us. (I hate drawing attention like that but Tate was being such a drama queen… understandably, I guess)!

By the time we were in a room Tate had calmed down a bit and was mostly just in a lot of pain. I had to call Madison, Tate’s older sister, who was at work at Dick’s to get her to go to their house and get their insurance information and the letter that gave me permission to make medical decisions for them. This was a mistake, I admit. Madison does not deal with emergencies well and, while I’d been a little pre-occupied when we’d left the house, she did not miss noticing the blood that had splattered all over the snow at the time of “the incident”. Up to this point I had been able to fool her into thinking it was no big deal but the blood gave it all away and she started freaking out. She made it to the hospital and luckily I caught her in the hall before she saw Tate. We’d finally been able to calm him down and I knew if she came running in in a huff that he’d just get worked up again so I grabbed her firmly by her shoulders and told her she HAD TO CALM DOWN before I would let her in to see Tate, that he was all right, he was going to survive, and that she needed to act mature and be strong. Well, that lasted for all of 2 seconds but I think it helped a bit. Finally, Tate’s aunt showed up and I (happily) relinquished all guardianship duties to her.

Then I realized I was in a hospital.

Then I almost fainted.

At least I waited til an appropriate time to lose it!

So, I excused myself from the room, which now was getting very crowded, and found a seat and put my head between my knees. Some firemen, really, REALLY cute firemen, brought in another patient and a few of them took a look at Tate’s fingers and I tried to pretend to faint into one of their arms but they weren’t paying enough attention to me. So I just sat on my chair, and dreamed of their biceps!

Anyways, fast forward with me 4.5 years and now Tate’s an Eagle Scout with a groovy trick.

Can you do this?


And despite all the rougher years, I think he’s a pretty decent kid young man. I still have the opportunity to stay with him once or twice a year while his parents are out gallivanting around the world. Tate and I have an unwritten understanding that he’s not allowed to hold anything sharper than a butter knife while I’m around.

As for his sister, Madison… she’s busy coping with the hassles of college and married life.

She can be a little clingy sometimes! (Jk! She’s gonna be SO mad at me when she sees that picture!)

And me, well, I don’t like hospitals. But I guess the good thing is I don’t think about that too much when I’m in responsibility mode. Tate’s mom said it was probably a good thing I was there when “the snow blower incident” happened because she would’ve panicked and been too freaked out to do anything. Lucky me, I guess?!

And now I have my own house, and I’m one of those poor people who doesn’t have a brat to shovel their snow. Le sigh! But I’m always very, VERY careful when I use my snow blower. Lesson learned!

PS. It is relatively easy to get blood out of your car seats when they’ve been pre-treated with stain-resistant spray! Which is lucky for Tate, or I would’ve had to bill him for a cleaning fee!

PPS. I don't think Tate even plays soccer anymore, he's more into football and wrestling, which you apparently CAN do with a stubby finger!

10.18.2008

Congratulations Lisa & Nick!

Thank you so much for letting me share in your big day!

I love you!

My Stripper

Let’s clear something up real quick here, before things get even more out of hand. No, this post is not going to be about my experiences as a “corner worker” (not that that ever happened)! It’s about my new favorite kitchen toy, my Dazey Stripper:

I got it from a good family friend a couple years ago (for free!!!) but I hadn't used it yet!

I’ve never canned anything entirely on my own. I’ve helped my mom a plethera of times and always just done what I was told, but for the first time I was the one making the decisions. And, shockingly, I produced an edible product: Chunky Applesauce!

Here’s the recipe:

Amazing Chunky Applesauce

3-4 pounds of apples, peeled, cored and quartered

4 strips of lemon peel

juice of 1 lemon

1 cinnamon stick

1/4 C. brown sugar

1/4 C. white sugar

1 C. water

1/2 t. salt

Place all ingredients in a large (heavy) pot. Cover and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes. Remove from heat, remove cinnamon sticks and lemon peels. Mash with a potato masher until desired consistency. (Leave somewhat chunky!) Pour into clean jars, add lids and rings then process for 25 minutes in water bath.

So, let’s get to work. First, I peeled 7 large-ish baking apples. Thankfully, this is where my stripper took over.

It’s awesome, it takes about 10 seconds to peel an apple. Now if I could just figure out something fun to do with the leftover strips. Anyone got any ideas?

Next, I pulled out my apple plate

Cuz it seemed fitting. Then I took my 7 apples…

And lopped the tops off. Then I cored and sliced them into 8 pieces. (I know the recipe says to quarter them but I was trying to take the easy road, here!)

Here’s my final pile of apple slices. Technically, it should’ve been 56 wedges (7x8=56) but 1 fell on the floor and 1 fell in my mouth so I ended up with 54 wedges.

Next, I cut into that lemon and wrung the juice out of it. I also cut off a couple large strips of lemon peel (I highly recommend going with large strips cuz those little buggers are hard to find after the apples are cooked).

Note: don’t look at the above picture too long, you might start going cross-eyed! (Sorry about the blur.)

So, I put the lemon juice, lemon peel, cinnamon (I sprinkled some in cuz I didn’t have any sticks), brown sugar, white sugar, water and salt in my pot and heated it together a bit.

Then I threw in the apples and covered it all with a lid.

While that was cooking I washed my brand-spankin-new jars & lids!

After 30 minutes this is what my apple concoction looked like:

I mashed it up and started filling jars. And since I’d forgotten to take a picture before I started filling jars (I’m new to this, guys) I took a picture just before I filled the last jar.

As you can see, I left it kinda chunky. I thought it might be fun. And it turns out I like it kinda chunky.

So, after filling jars, and jars, I ended up with 4.5 jars of applesauce. Apparently I didn’t need to wash all 12 of my brank-spankin-new jars. Hmmm, note to self, triple the recipe next time!

Moving on, I borrowed my mom’s canner, filled the bottom with water, and placed my 4 precious jars of deliciousness on it. (The .5 jar just went straight into the fridge.)

Then I started a fire underneath it and put the top on.

Once the steam started coming out of the holes on the canner I set the timer for 25 minutes.

And abra-cadabra, the finished product:

I let those puppies cool overnight (they were smokin hot, like a baked potato, only hotter) and stored them safely in my cold storage room. I feel so domestic!

PS. Don’t look too closely at all my pictures. I tried to crop them in close so that you wouldn’t see all the dirty dishes laying around. Not that I ever have dirty dishes laying around!

Apple Season

I have 2 kinds of apple trees in my backyard. One is some kind of baking apple. It's also good to eat, but they're really great to bake with. The other is a Red Delicious.

Any-whoo, I’m always on the lookout for great apple recipes and I’m also asked all the time what I do with those apples. Well, here’s some suggestions:

Super Easy Apple Pie

5+ apples, sliced and peeled
5 dabs of butter
Sugar
Cinnamon
Krusteaz pie crust mix

Make pie crust according to package directions. Put apples in crust followed by the butter. Cover well with sugar and cinnamon. Seal top of pie crust down. Cut slits in crust for steam to escape. Cover edges of crust with aluminum (remove during the last 15 mins of bake time). Bake @ 425*F for 40-50 minutes until brown.

Baked Apple French Toast

10-14 slices (1” thick) French bread
1 pkg. (3 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1 Lg apple, peeled, cored, sliced thin
¼ C. nuts, chopped (optional)
1 C. milk
1/3 C. maple flavored syrup
3 eggs
2T. butter or marg., melted
1 T. sugar
1 t. ground cinnamon
1 t. vanilla

Preheat over to 400*F. Spread cream cheese onto both sides of bread slices. Place bread into 9”x13” pan. Prick bread slices several times with fork or knife, top with apple slices. Sprinkle nuts over apples. Combine remaining ingredients and whisk. Pour egg mixture over bread. Bake 20-25 minutes or until egg mixture is set. Yield: 6 servings.

Baked Apples

Choose baking apples
Core apples and remove skin on upper half only (to prevent splitting)
Place upright in baking dish

Fill center of each with:
1-2 T. brown sugar
1 t. margarine
1/8 t. cinnamon

Pour water ¼” deep into pan
Bake @ 350*F for 30-40 minutes, until tender. Spoon syrup from pan over apples during baking

Please share any of your favorite recipes. I'll have a few more recipes up soon!